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Autumn Leaves and Leaving.

November 6, 2008

It’s the beginning of November, and everyone I know is talking about quitting (or at least entertaining thoughts of departure). Sometimes it feels like people treat teaching in Korea like prison, everyone’s always asking, “how long have you been here/how long have you got?” “Man… when I get out, I’m gonna…” It isn’t that bad most of the time, but I guess it’s just the cold air making people feel trapped and the lost afternoons spent teaching grammar (some of which you don’t have whys of, and just wing it). Most people see this as a bridge to somewhere else, to save up money to get rid of credit card debit/college loans/grad school/one big Asian romp around the world, and so the emphasis is on the future. Seeing how as I have this unflattering habit of not having any plans and doing whatever, I always just end up looking forward to weekends (and end up getting continually disappointed by them). Maybe I should think about what I’m gonna do when I get out…. But right now, I’m a little stuck on the transience of it all; what place will Korea have in my memory; what place will I have in the memories of people I’ve met here?

Sometimes I feel like I’m not being myself here; that some how the way people knew me back home, is buried under this cartoon version of me, built by other people’s expectations of me, and the myth I have of who I want to be/what I am/blah blah blah societal expectation blah blah blah. It’s probably cost me some things here. Also, apparently I’m “adorable.” LA People: thoughts? (P.S. I miss you all with frightening fierceness. It is horrible.)

Anyway– ew, when did this journal get all livejournally?

Let’s talk about something stupid.

Question: does the thought of manatees make you sad? They make me incredibly sad. I guess it’s because I think they’re the sweet oafish fat kids of the sea. And get maimed by boat propellers. Maybe that’s the way to get to the pitying part of my heart (the part with the strings that gets tugged): fat kids + boat maiming.

Also: A word on Korean persimmons. They have the normal kind here, the hard orange cinnamony-tasting ones with the apple-like hardness (until they get ripe and sticky)… but they also have these things:

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They’re kind of persimmon-y in taste, but seemingly trapped in the body (and have the consistency of) a tomato. Well, except for the persimmon leaves (what I like to call the persimmon’s hat). I don’t know how I feel about them. Apparently if you freeze them overnight and eat them like sherbet, it’s delicious.

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