So lately my life has taken a trip to Non Sequitur Land, with sentences like, “I fished a paperclip from a princess’ mouth,” and “I think the demon children will eat him, I can tell,” coming out of my mouth at regular intervals. Some kid told me I “looked like  a Peppero stick” the other day. I suppose I should take that as a compliment: tall, skinny, and… dipped in chocolate? But that’s all in a day’s work as a teacher, I suppose.

Nice building in Sinsa-dong. Changed colors in time with the building next to it. Sometimes spelled out Chinese characters. I don’t know if that’s trying to hard to be awesome or just plain… awesome.

Play time, however, has become a bit fancier than those Incheon days. No more Max Riders and cheese kimbap, now it’s…well to be honest, now it’s sitting in my apartment and watching Top Chef, but sometimes, I take a bus south of the river (Fancytown Seoul) and indulge in its… fanciness. For those that aren’t “in the know,” South of the Han is known for being home to the wealthier districts of Seoul: Gangnam, Apgujeong, Cheongdam, etc.

On Sunday I went with the work crew (work gang? work unit? which do you prefer?) to Spa Lei in Sinsa-dong. Spa Lei is a women’s only facility and it’s pretty much a public bathhouse or jjimjilbang, but “without ajusshis cleaning their face with their own sweat.” It was amazing and super relaxing. There were green tea baths, rosewater baths, outdoor (but shielded from lookey-loos) pools, steam rooms, ovens, infared rooms (to feel like a piece of reheated fast food?), and a ton of other stuff. I got my face threaded, which is just as painful as it sounds. Basically you could spend a whole day there just lounging around without clothes or in your robe, eating sweet potatoes and eggs, taking baths, watching soap operas, and getting pampered. I like it. I really like it. It’s like spending time at home being lazy in your underwear, but with a bunch of strangers…. Doesn’t that sound, uh, appealing?

You’d think the whole “naked” thing would make you feel embarrassed and squeamish, but it’s not awkward at all. It’s a very communal, casual, I’ve-got-no-clothes-on-and-so-do-you. It kind of makes you wish that the States had such a healthy non-prudish relationship with nudity, that nudity didn’t necessarily equate sexuality and what not, that people could just be comfortable with their bodies as is, in a family environment. There seems to be so much shame in American culture, about things that are normal and everyday, and I just feel like we should all, you know, get over it. But anyway, I don’t want to sound weird, but you really haven’t lived until some middle aged woman has scrubbed off all your dead skin while you lie on a table. Seriously.

Obviously, I have no pictures, but at jjimjilbang you can fashion your towel much like Princess Leia. Get it? Leia hairdo at Spa Lei? That was bad, I’m sorry. From here: http://www.randomwire.com/sheep-head

Anyway, afterwards, we headed off to Garosu-gil, which is this famed tree-lined street in Sinsa-dong (is this its own dong or a part of the greater Apgujeong Fancy District?). It’s a really nice place, lots of shops, brunch places, cafe places, and people so beautiful they make you feel bad about yourself. We ended up eating at School Food, this fusion Korean place, which is basically a kimbap joint classed-up with a few Western influences. It’s kind of the Korean equivalent to Ketchup in West Hollywood (a place where I’ve sat next to Paula Abdul while eating kobe beef hot dogs, ah but that’s another story). On the menu there are some questionable items like carbonara tteokbokki (who knows, could be amazing) but we ordered this less extreme variant with mozzarella and a sweet/hot tteokbokki sauce. It was my favorite thing we ate:

I have a ton pictures of the other stuff we ate, but I guess you can just check my facebook for that.

So I’ll end on that note.  Until next time, everybody.

There are few things that I love more in this world than some properly prepared, fresh guacamole.

This pretty little cup of awesome is from Uncle 29 Mexican Grill in Gangnam. Okay, so I’m never in Gangnam, mostly because I find it’s dense vertical city-ness kind of cold and charmless compared with home-y Hongdae. It’s too many chains, too many people. However I guess there are some interesting things about it (the little poles with internet access and games, and oh yes, the wealth) and this place is one of them. Here is a picture of a burrito.

Now, I am in no way comparing this to the perfect states of grace from home (ie, a suadero taco at 3 am from a taco truck, eaten on the back of a Corolla with your mildly inebriated friends)… I think it’s mainly a meat issue. I feel like in South Korea, when it comes to Western food, it isn’t about the meat, it’s about the fixings. The burgers are like that. You will never get a perfect patty– but you can decorate it real nice with things. It is the same with Uncle 29. And what fixings they have! LIMES. AVOCADO. Things that are almost fables in these parts. And the beans, oh, gorgeous beans.

Other places of note in Gangnam are:

Butterfinger Pancakes: Home of many gastronomic massacres.

And the Underground Shopping Center (located in Gangnam station)! I go there for all my basics: nice sweaters, boots, black cardigans. Though sometimes it still breaks my heart. An 80,000 won pink plaid dress? Banana yellow flats? A black motorcycle jacket? These things are foolish to buy. But I want to. I really want to. Oh! And the Underground has this great french fry place which satisfies my need for fake nacho cheese and potatoes:

When did this become a blog about what I’ve put in my belly?

Is this better than me lazily putting up k-pop videos?

You know, for someone who’s moved to the smack-dab, seriously geographically center of a large urban metropolis, I don’t really get out much anymore. Last week, I went all over Seoul in brief morning expeditions, zig zagging to Nowon (NE), to Gwangmyeong (SW) to Bundang (SE) on several craigslist quests for household items. But mostly, I’ve been keeping it close to Itaewon-dong (Is it a -dong? or a -gu? Neither?)

I took this in Unjungdong in Bundang, as I was buying a sweet 15,000 won rice cooker. As you can see fall is occurring, in that non-arbitrary, four seasons kind of way that Koreans are so fond of.

However, for the most part, I’ve become very domestic, devoting evenings to reading books, intending to catch up on my laundry, unclogging my sink, and trying to figure out the ins and outs of my Hangul-ed appliances. Perhaps it’s the second year in Korea malaise or the fact that hiking up to my apartment on a hill (not a hyperbole, as my friend stated once, you may be “in need of a sherpa”) is kind of an undertaking, or the fact that I work on Saturdays mostly and don’t have that desire to “make something” out of my weekend. Or maybe, maybe my neighborhood’s just rad.

I live up here.

Anyway, sometimes I try to cook for myself. Though to be honest, I get a little lazy… but nowadays, because of my location, going to the local kimbap place has been replaced with going to the local kebab place. Mostly Mr. Kebab, though sometimes I cheat on him with Ankara Picnic.

Here are some of my recent efforts:

Grilled cheese FAIL.

Cheese ramen.

Rice from said magic rice cooker.

Angel hair pasta sauteed with sun-ripened tomatoes, mushrooms and olives, sprinkled with Parmesan cheese.

Don’t worry about me, I’m doing fine living on my own. Really. Not photographed: that time I successfully made kimchi fried rice, that time I made garlic fried rice, that time I made rice and egg with spam slices. I aspire to make curry (out of a box) next.

I’m just going to say it: I hate Costco.

One of those jars of mayo. Faces censored to protect the innocent and those who used that mayo to make their hair shinier and later smelt strangely of salad dressing for weeks. Just kidding! It was only a couple days.

Now, to most people in the States, Costco is AMAZING. It’s warehouse wonderland full of hot dogs on the cheap, hairnetted fairy godmothers bestowing every form of sustenance in little paper cups, and near mythic, head-sized jars of mayonnaise. I really do have fond memories of Costco back home. And I would even say that Costco in Korea is not all that different. It’s the same layout, same font on the logo, some of the same products (plus some regional variations like bulgogi bakes along with the immortal chicken bake). Theoretically, the experience should be the same, right?

Well, not really. What Costco in Seoul also provides, along with a good selection of cheeses, is a sense of your own mortality, an acute awareness of the insignificance of your life, and an overwhelming sense of rage and aggression towards your fellow human beings.

Last week, my co-workers and I were talking about going there, and there were tales of shopping carts nipping heels and altercations between grandmothers and ketchup-hoarding ajummas (the best quote from that story: “This KETCHUP is for someone IN THE HOSPITAL.” This was not in the store area, but in the food court, where ketchup is free-flowing, though I’m not sure about the legality of putting said ketchup in large ziplock bags)… but I had yet to live those stories. I was willing to forgive some of it, accidents happen, people are allowed to put huge dollops of onions on their plate and use it as a side dish, and not a topping, and some bitches are just crazy, that’s alright, it isn’t Costco itself. But I had yet to experience the madness. From what it seemed, like when I went: shit like that happens all the time!

For example: I was standing in line in the food court (which is in the basement, not outside, which adds to the fluorescent lit clausterphobia of it all) and I was next. But then the cashier has to refill the register. And that would have been fine, if this lady behind me doesn’t crowd me so badly that’s she’s practically half hugging me, stomach pudge prodding me in the back, in order to put her won on the table! What did she think she could just slip by and cut me? What is up with that?!

(I was going to draw a diagram here, but I can’t actually draw, you get the point)

Not to mention getting a seat in the food court is like playing high stakes musical chairs (though Russell would say, “no it’s not. People that play musical chairs agree to play that game.”). Three seconds of getting up to get onions means that some ajumma in a pink hiking outfit with three slices of pizza is going to swoop in and take your spot. Someone should do research on the dexterity and quickness of middle aged Korean women. Is it the kimchi? The living through the Korean War?

Why is Costco so frustrating? Is just that people go mad for wholesale (p.s. I don’t know why they check your bags, it’s not like they sell anything tiny enough to steal)? Is it the worse parts of American consumerism imported and combined with Korean population density?

Anyway, maybe you don’t get it. Maybe I just seem to be complaining (well, I am). Maybe you had to be there. Maybe you have to go there. But here’s what I have to say in short:

Dear Diary,

Costco is hell.

The end.

Okay, anyway, to brighten up my day and because it’s almost that time of the year again, here are pictures of Korean people in animal hats:

Image from here.

Feel free to correct the above Korean. That’s just through the google translator.

So, as you know from my previous post, I am currently residing in Itaewon in Central Seoul. It’s what is known as the foreigner district and is quite an eclectic mix. Where else in the world can you find a gay bars adjacent to GI hangouts next to classy brunch spots next to quickie kebab spots next to whatever else? If there is another place in the world, I don’t want to hear about it. My neighborhood is SPECIAL, you hear me? SPECIAL.

Now, I know Itaewon has a bad rep, as place full of shady characters and general sketchiness. Also, due to its chaotic nightlife scene, I doubt it would make anybody’s “Places Where I Have Been at My Most Dignified” List—one autumn evening comes to mind, where I was sitting on the sidewalk at 3 in the morning, while Jan tried to placate me by saying: “If I buy you a shawarma, will you shut the f— up?” Ah, memories of when I was a different person. But anyway, Itaewon can be a great place, as long as you know where to go.

Of course, what Itaewon has going for it, is its internationalism. We can talk Korean food and Korean culture, later, ok?

An empanada epiphany. Or if you want to be really cheesy about it, an empa-neato!

If you’ve read this blog, you’ve probably noticed my quest to find a good Mexican food place in Korea (and China and the Philippines and Cambodia). But what about the rest of Latin America? How about, let’s say, Paraguay? Well! I’ve got the place for you. Located across the Wolfhound, Comedor is a Paraguayan eatery endorsed by such notables as the President (Ambassador?) of Paraguay, and more importantly, FatMan Seoul. The empanadas are delicious and good for an on-the-go-eat-on-the-subway-and-have-everyone–smell-you-with-jealousy-snack. And the beef? It’s done the South American way—as in, if you need a good hunk of meat, and need it now, this is the place. The specials change daily, but yeah. It’s all really tasty. And the lady that runs it is super nice! Added bonus: the Spanish MTV soundtrack.

Beef!

For next time: I will talk rhapsodically about Flying Pan Blue and Mr. Kebab (yeah, not just Kebab, that’s MR. KEBAB to you, son).

Also. Let’s talk about my new job. It’s amazing. And I’m not just saying that because my co-workers are reading this. I teach my first real class on Saturday. Wish me luck.

Hi. Well, you probably gave up on this blog and I don’t blame you. After all, it kind of devolved into “April Posts K-Pop videos” and then not at all. But that’ll change. I’m at a new school, new location (I live in Itaewon, but not the super sketch part with the prostitutes. The nice area that’s next to the sketch part with the prostitutes and has fancy smancy date restaurants). Things will be noticeably different. I think. We’ll see about that.

I plan on doing the following things:

- Become a better person. Very subjective. But you know, quit complaining about the past, try to be less self-centered and self-involved.

- Eat out less. Learn to cook. Stop forgetting that I bought vegetables and letting them rot in the fridge. Cook vegetables more often.

- Join a writer’s workshop. I keep saying I should write more.

- Exercise more. Also, it is a longer walk to my hagwon. And I live in a hillier part of town.

For now, enjoy this non-kpop, but rather k-indie music video. Look! It’s the 80’s!

Also, since Karen O is half Korean and I always find myself obsessing over this band for one week a year:

Goodbye….

Hello…

Back to South Korea on Wednesday.

I know you’re excited.

Hi guys. Well I just came back from two weeks in Southeast Asia (Thailand, Cambodia, Malaysia, but mostly Thailand), and I was thinking about how everything compares. One would argue that this is an apples oranges deal, and it is, in many ways. But what’s a little subjective comparison between countries? Besides it’s 6 am in San Diego right now and I’m finding it hard to sleep because of jetlag.

Round 1, Fight! : Skyscrapers

The 63 Building (Seoul) vs. The Petronus Towers (Kuala Lumpur)

Okay, so I love the 63 Building. A lot. Whenever I would take the  bus into Seoul I would always look for it, and I’ve been up there a bunch of times (I think one time for every season). On a good day, it’s a gleaming gold block of awesome on the Han. But, c’mon, Let’s be serious here. THE PETRONUS TOWERS. I think this was the first time I turned a corner and looked at a building and was like, “HOLY SHIT.” And the 63 Building – doesn’t look good at night, no glow. The Petronus Towers are all glow. And well, tallness. The Petronus Towers are the second tallest buildings in the world (I haven’t seen Taipei 101, but anyway) and the 63 Building isn’t even 63 floors! It’s “60 floors and 3 basements.” When I found that out I felt like I had been lied to. Betrayed, even.

Besides, The Petronus Towers has a Top Shop inside of it. What’s the 63 Building got? An aquarium and some paintings. Whatevs. Also I would like to note that Southeast Asia, with its golden Buddhist stupas, Muslim mosques, and colonial remnants offers a little more in terms of, well, architectural surprise. Korea, with its Park Chung-hee era gray blocks with large glass windows, not so much. Though Korea does know how to do an inside right.

Winner: Malaysia

Round 2: Pop Music

You may have heard of this thing called the Korean Wave across Asia. It means that Korea exports pop music, movies, dramas all over, including Thailand. I visited Jan’s classroom and was immediately interrogated on which was my favorite member of Big Bang, if I knew Super Junior, and watched as a bunch of kids charaded the “Nobody” song. However, Thailand does have one thing on its side, which is variation. Thailand has rock groups. Actual real ones, that talk about social issues and stuff.

Apparently this video talks about the fetishism of Western products by Thai people, ironically made in Thai factories.

But anyway, this category is pop music. And Thai pop music seems strangely familiar.

Even though the guy in this video is cute, I do like SNSD better. I got off the plane listening to that “Gee” song. (but you know, I still believe 2ne1 > SNSD).

Winner: South Korea

Round Three: Ancient Ruins

Admittedly, a bit of a bias topic. I just wanted to share how awesome Angkor Wat was. Huge trees! Growing out of ruins! In the jungle!

I could do without dozens of mosquito bites and the possibility of malaria though.

Winner: Cambodia

Don’t get me wrong, Korea has its benefits. It’s expansive subway system, cleanliness, toilets that flush, and other modern comforts. Southeast Asia was a blast, but I don’t know if I could ever live there. Also, you may have heard the rumor that I’m coming back to Korea. I will neither confirm or deny that at this point. We’ll see. But you know, the fall is the best time of year there.

So my last day of work is tomorrow and I’ll be in Thailand in less than a week. There’s a lot to say about the last 13 months, a few things that I don’t feel like sharing (Yeah, I know, right?). I thought, instead, I’d do a little retrospective via music video. Just cause.

Summer ‘08

Fall ‘08

Winter ‘08

Spring ‘09

Makes-me-want-to-shoot-myself catchy.

Summer ‘09

“Yeah it’s a bunch of 17 year old Korean guys trying to be sexy.”

“…It’s kind of awkward when they succeed.”

I tried to pick less obvious choices (as in, videos already featured on this blog).

Anyway, maybe I’ll write a real post before I go. Maybe.

Sorry for my absence, dear readers. If you keep up with my tumblr, you’ll know that I’ve taken on a second life as a 14 year old Korean girl, oogling over celebrities and being generally annoying (OMG KIM BEOM!). But anyway, I thought I’d check in.

A collection of photo albums, notebooks that I’ve had in Korea.

Well, it’s been almost a year now. Actually, today is the anniversary of me getting my visa issuance number. I bought a black notebook to commemorate (yes, sentimental and cliche, but I guess I’ve always been like that). I wrote last year, “everything feels up in the air. I guess as it should be.” I can’t say that I’m not in the same position right now. I’m actually extending my visa for another month to train my replacement, though. So I’m set to leave Korea on July 29th, for Thailand, where my friend Jan is teaching. From there, I’ll be going home August 15th, living like a nomad up and down California. After that… well, we’ll see. Also last year, around this time, I did make a music playlist called “Breaking Up with America.” That’s probably still true right at this moment.

So yeah. There’s your life update, for those who are curious, but don’t care to actually keep up with me directly.

To make this post more “meaty” I guess I should list a few of my current enthusiasms.

1. Korean ice cream bars.

The “Nuga Ba” or er, I assume, “Nougat Bar.” Amazing. Covered in delicious chocolate with not vanilla on the inside, oh no, the inside ice cream is actually a little nutty in flavor. Pretty amazing. This and melon bars are my favorite. Also, I also am enamored with the fact that Korea is a proud, ice cream eating society. There’s no shame in eating ice cream here. It’s not seen as childish, or unmanly, you know. You see unabashed ajushis on the corner with their buds, soju in one hand, ice cream bar in the other. It’s kind of beautiful. I feel like in the States there’s kind of a social stigma to public ice cream eating (that whole “you’re an ice cream eating motherfucker,” bit from that Fugazi show comes to mind), but not here. Everyone loves ice cream. And everybody should! And so do I, goddammit! Nuga Bars 4ever!

Err. There’s that 14 year old acting up again.

Anyway…

2. Lo-fi Film Photography

Not taken with the Holga, but with a Kodak disposable that I forgot I had. I like how these turned out though.

I bought a Holga a couple weeks ago. A Holga is a cheap camera from Hong Kong that doesn’t even require batteries and is prone to “happy accidents.” I’ve been really happy with my digital camera and my fake fuji polaroid, but I have been enjoying the sense of anticipation and surprise that comes with film. Mostly it’s a challenge because you have to remember a bunch of stuff: “Did I wind? Did I focus? Did I take the lens cap off?” so the pictures you think you’ll have are far different than the pictures you end up with. I like that. It’s a constant battle with my own incompetence, a challenge that I should probably tackle. I guess you might ask, well, “why don’t you just buy a digital SLR like tons of Koreans do?” The answer is that I don’t want to be those girls in cafes taking pictures of their friends/boyfriends with huge expensive cameras on auto. Also, I am lazy and prone to breaking expensive equipment.

3. Red Samhwa Express Buses

Line 1 and me are OVER. I’m never taking the subway across Seoul again, pushing little girls out of my way to get a seat. Not when there’s the 1200 (which goes to Hapjeong, Hongdae, Sinchon, and Seoul Station = ie, my tea latte drinking life), and the 9500/9800 which goes to Gangnam (for all my East Seoul needs, which are few, but every once in awhile I feel like poshing it up a bit). There are seats most of the time, I can take a nap, chill out… plus there are some really neat views from the window:

Also, I like the 63 Building. A lot.

4. Max Rider 4-D Rides.

The joy of my life. Russell and I stumbled across it once in Bupyeong. It’s basically like, Star Tours at Disneyland (or the beer bottle ride at the Heineken Museum in Amsterdam) but it’s for four or fewer people. It’s basically a giant screen and a moving chair in a room and you go on “rides” wearing 3-d glasses. There’s multiple options. You can go on like, an “arctic race” or a “jungle safari” or just a plain old virtual rollercoaster. Embarrassing moment: the first time I went on one, after laughing for a minute about the ridiculousness of it (I mean, it looks really fake), I got so into it, my suspension of disbelief was so great, that I uh, screamed when we went off a virtual “cliff.” I’ve never seen one in Seoul, just Incheon, in both Bupyeong and City Hall. Do not go after eating chamchi dobap though.

That is all. I know I don’t have the best blog, but it is the me-ist blog as possible. Catch you all later.